A Second Chance
by BNC-3K
Summary: Sometimes you make a mistake, sometimes you regret it for the rest of your live. Sometimes you get a second chance. Jane/Maura and some OCs. Yes, the endgame is Rizzles! ;-) Hope you like the story besides the bad summary!
1. The Anniversary

Disclaimer: To my endless regret, I don't own Rizzoli and Isles. They belong rightfully to Tess Gerritsen who invented them, Janet Tamaro who made them walk over from paper to film and the people of TNT who send them out to us. And although in a certain way they belong to Angie Harmon and Sasha Alexander who gave them a face and a voice. Thanks to all of them to bring those two to us and for letting us play in their backyard with those two beautiful ladies!

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The older woman walked toward the bridge, the rain plastering her short gray hair to her skin, the limping she did with her left leg only marginally to register and only when she is tired. This evening she is beyond tired, but it is the evening of THE DAY. The day her best friend died, she died in her arms unable to speak any longer and because of the husband and the children of her friend she although couldn't say anything, at least not the things she would love to say, something like "I Love You", words she wanted to say for quite a long time but when it was the right time she didn't dare to say them and then – it was too late. Today it is twenty years that she died, twenty years since both of them died. Since that day, the only reason to exist was that the children of her friend needed her.

" _Damn Maura, why had it to be you? Why couldn't it be me? I miss you as much as the day you died and all that is left for me is to remember you, to be the pillar of strength for the kids. Luckily they don't really need one anymore. They are so smart, exactly like you and the twins? You three could use each other as mirrors. I miss you Maura."_ Glad about the rain, the older woman stood on the bridge and let her gaze wander over the water and the city at its side. Her memories showing her pictures from a certain blond woman and her tears run free over her cheeks. Standing there for hours she doesn't feel the wetness that had soaked her clothes. Suddenly her phone vibrated and with a sigh she took the call.

"Rizzoli!" She said, her voice strong and confident, no sign of the sadness in her heart.

"Aunt Jane!" The voice of Sophie Isles erupted from the speaker, "Where are you?"

"Talbot Bridge. There was a report about some man ready to jump down. Either it was too late to come here and he is already gone or the caller was wrong." Lying wasn't something that was a burden to her, not even to the young woman that was as close to her as any daughter could be. But as easy as she made up this story, as easy the girl was in picking up the truth. Without commenting to it, Sophie asked "Are you with a car there?"

"How else should I get here? Aren't any good at running anymore." There was no anger or hurt in her voice, only a tired acceptance. The same as with anything that was hitting her since then. Only something regarding Sophie and her twin sister Charlotte or their older brother Timothy got her to be agitated as many teachers and their father had learned. That's the reason that all three children had called her Mommy Bear. The second wife of their father hadn't liked any hint at been mother to the kids, ignoring that the kids were seeing Jane as their surrogate mother instead of her, but even when the kids called her Aunt Jane, the sound was always in an other direction.

"Charly is arriving at the airport in half an hour. Could you please pick her up? I am cooking and would love that you do it."

"Why are you cooking and where are you?" Jane's voice was commanding as if she was talking with some off her officers. Sophie didn't envy them for that. Glad that as a federal agent even the commissioner of Boston wasn't in her chain of command. Not that said Commissioner would bother if it comes to it that Sophie was sure off.

"Chicken Alfredo and Beacon Hill." She hadn't to say more, both knew that this was all Jane needed. The silence stayed for a long time, finally Jane said "Okay kiddo, I pick her up. But I will not come in, there is a lot of paperwork on my desk." Both knew that when Charly would ask her she would cave. The children knew her far too well and none of them would let her stay on her own on this day of the year.

Over an hour later, four people sat at the table in a specific house in Beacon Hill. If not one of the children has business in Boston, the house was dark and still 363 days a year. Only time was the day Maura had died and her birthday but the later was something that the children didn't know.

As usuall, the three children of Maura tried their best to lighten the mood of a certain old woman but as usual the failed. Serving the Cannelloni they learned to make by the long dead Angela Rizzoli, Charlotte filled her glass with the excellent red wine they had bought for this day. Deep in her thoughts she sat there for some time.

"Penny for your thoughts!" Timothy suddenly said, bringing her back to reality.

"Nothing." Charly told him.

"That nothing had you zoned out for over twenty minutes, don't tell me bull!" he told her. Reigning in the comment he would have made if the three were alone. But even been grown up, all three off them feared the tone in which Jane told them "Language kids!"

With a deep sight and a long look at their aunt, Charlotte walked over to Jane, putting a hand on her shoulder and kissed the older woman on top of her head. A questioning look made her smile.

"There is something I wanted to ask you for a long time Aunt Jane." She finally said.

"And that is kiddo?"

"If there were a time machine, would you use it to go back and tell mother that you love her?" Suddenly there was a silence in the room that was deafening. Tears streaming down her cheeks bud finally she shook her head. "No." She whispered.

"But why Aunt Jane?" This time it was the surprised voice of Timothy that asked.

"Because I'm a god damned coward. That is the first point and the second point is, if I would go back and tell her and let's assume that she wasn't kicking me out of her life what surely would let to a complete other life for you guys, let's say she said yes. You three would not be here. Could I kill my children by being selfish?" All three children of Maura had to fight tears. They knew that they had the place in Jane's heart that normally is reserved for a person's own children but to hear this confession from the one and only Jane Rizzoli? The cyborg, the ice queen, as many police officers and detectives called her? That was unbelievable, priceless and heartbreaking.

"Why did you ask?" Sophie was curious as ever. Curiosity was natural to all three of them, being the children of Maura Isles and a college professor, more or less raised by a detective? No chance to not been curios without end.

"Thank you Jane." Timothy whispered in her ear, giving her a fast hug.

"Can we now cancel this emo-crap?" Jane renewed the walls around her soul fast and strong.

"Sure!" Sophie told her.

"But you have to promise me something." This time it was Charlotte who spoke.

"Should you ever go back in time, you will tell her. Whatever she will do, but you will tell her. Promised?"

"Okay, I promise that at least I will try, that I'm not chicken out I can't promise. The thought of losing her is too frightening, too saddening and too depressing to me."

The rest of the evening was spent in a better mood; the three younger ones did their best to pick out memories that were on the funny side. When Jane finally left, her spirit was strong as on most of the other days in the year.

"Okay Sis, spill!" Sophie told her sister and hers and the eyes of their brother locked on her after their aunt left.

"Nothing special, I was seeing a film in cinema with some friends; a man found a time machine and went back to his greatest love ever. As like the first time he wasn't able to tell her, it was heartbreaking. After that I thought what Aunt Jane would do. But whatever she would do, it would change the world as we know it. She is a protector, it is in her blood. She would react to some threads mother got through. The world would be completely different than the one we know. So I thought by making her promise to at least try to tell mother, there will at least a little bit of happiness be there. That is all. By the way, the film was _Tears in the Rain_ in case you want to watch it."

After they got this, all three started to share memories of Momma Rizzoli, Jane had told them about their real mother again and again but they were too young when Maura was gone, Jane was the one who went to the first baseball game they saw. Made sure that all three had their own game time, nothing like twins share all and so they share their aunt on their first game they went to ever. Jane was there when they had their first school play, was the one who went to the Father-Daughter/Mother-Son dance with Timothy, fighting like a lion to get the evening off. Pissing off the new mother they got. Timothy remembered that evening very vivid. All the other boys were there with their mothers, her was the only one who went with his aunt. Aunt Jane had done something they saw her doing on very rare occasions. To have the evening for Timothy more relaxed, Jane had clad herself in a dress. When she told him that it was only for him, Timothy became beet red and was the proudest boy that was there that evening. Some of the other boys thought they show how big, scary and cool they were by making some very bad remarks about Jane. Luckily for them, it wasn't Jane who heard them talking that way but Timothy wasn't really any better. He had heard his aunt doing the scolding on times enough for been able to give them his thoughts. Hearing what he had done, Jane came to him and made a formal curtsy, calling him her knight in shining armor. Made him feel very grown up. They laughed about the way a certain Jane Rizzoli walked down on the field when the coach berated Charlotte of been unable – been too stupid to be more correct – to hit a ball. Jane's hit on his balls changed his opinion very quick. Finally the three filled their glasses the last time.

Looking at their siblings, Sophie holds her glass and said "To Aunt Jane, the best mother three nerds could ever get. And to the hope that should ever arise the chance that she could tell the love of her life what she is feeling, that she grows the balls to do it!"

"Aunt Jane!" the three said together.


	2. Things you don't expect

AN: Thanks for the reviews and pms! :)

Finishing her glass, Sophie asked the other two siblings to follow her. Curios they followed her to their mother's bedroom. If there ever was a room made to a shrine for someone than it was this. Their aunt made sure that nothing, not the smallest piece was changed over the years. Being a little bit messy on herself, HERE was nothing of this to find. The bed covers till lay with the same wrinkles their mother had left them, the clothes in the exact places they were placed by her. And a single red rose stood in a vase at the bed side. Registering the questioning looks of her siblings, Sophie led them to the build in safe inside the closet.

"You know, Aunt Jane always told us that she doesn't know how to open this but that she wasn't willing to damage it to get to its inside. I spent a lot of time to solve this and I finally could." She took a deep breath. "Mother told Jane how to open it in case something happens to her but Jane been Jane refused to listen. Though I thought that the numbers must be something that was significant for both of them." Timothy nodded and Charlys eyes went small. "I remembered that Aunt Jane told us that our mom was in a boarding school in France. France is in Europe." Both others gave her an annoyed look. "Tell me something new Sis!" Timothy said.

"Coming brother. The joke is, here the people tell you the date in a different way than the people over there. Here – let's say Christmas eve two thousand two – would be 12-24-2002, right?" Two heads moved in approval. "Over there, they don't use month, day and year. They use day, month and year. A little different but enough to throw nearly everyone out. So, what is the most significant day for the two?" She continued without giving the other two a chance to respond. "The day they first met each other. Jane had told me of this day a couple of times. And so…" Entering the date in the way dd-mm-yyyy, the display switched to green and the distinct click of an opening lock was to hear. "Voila!"

Carefully the three of them emptied the safe, placing its contents on the floor. Neither of them dared to disturb the bed, sure that they would never hear the end of it. Besides a pack of Dollar bills – long outdated, some jewels, a gun and some papers, there were three letters. The first was titled 'Last will', the second a certificate of authority to act in Maura's name for Jane in all matters medical for her and financial for her kids. The third was a letter to them. Timothy was finally the one who opened it, spending some moments to go through it he finally started to read it out loud.

"Hello to you my three wonders! To my most regret I will not be around to tell you all the things I want to, that is the reason I wrote you this letter." Reading all the twenty four pages took him a while but neither of the sisters interrupted him. The only break was when they moved to the living room. Placing everything except the will, the certificate and the letter back into the safe.

"And so I have to finish now. Be assured that I love all of you three from the bottom of my heart. I know it isn't really fair to throw all this responsibility in Jane's lap but I strongly believe that it is the best I can finally do to all four of you. I although know that it will make your father unhappy that I decided it this way after I settled with him as the second best. But placing you in the care of Jane will give her a reason to move on when I am gone and for you three – it will give you a family like no second. They are loud and sometimes very trying but no one ever could say that the Rizzoli's are anything as loving. I love you kids, I love you so much. Mom!"

Timothy finally finished and looked at his sisters. While he watched them, Charlotte's face showed that she made a connection.

"She settled with dad as the second best? Do you guys know what that means? This means that she was in love with Jane too!" After a short amount of time, the other two shook their heads yes. Astonished about their findings. Taking another glass of wine, Charlotte took the will and opened it.

"I remember that Jane had to do a lot of fighting because all she had to work with was an older variation of this. Being one of the best detectives had its merits and she could convince the judges that they accepted the way it was. Now I'm very curios what was the last mother wanted." Going through the papers there wasn't much different to the one they had known for a couple of years because Jane had given it to them. Main difference was that their mother had reduced the money she wanted to go to the Isles Foundation and had instead wanted that five million Dollars should go to Jane. Although she had decided that one necklace that was in the safe should go to Jane - as the last birthday present from her.

"Wow, that is something impressive, had Jane found this, she could have been rich. So, I remember well how often she struggled because she wanted something special for us and refused to take it from our heritage." Timothy shook his head. Then he looked at his sisters. "When will we give this to Jane?" Pointing toward the necklace sentence.

Thinking about it, Sophie finally said "We hand it to her at her birthday. Will make it the best day since years and the one with her crying like a fountain." Knowing how far away this day was the three agreed about it, Seven and a half month – after this long time nothing special.


	3. New technics

Six months, nineteen days and eleven hours later,

a lot of high ranking law enforcement people from all branches were let into a laboratory. There they saw a chair with something that reminded Jane of a hood dryer with a lot of cables and control boards and monitors. A man in a white lab coat greeted them with a big smile.

"Welcome to the newest invention in crime fighting technics." He told them cheerfully. "With this machine it is possible to look back in time at a crime scene and to watch what really happened. No blurred memories of witnesses, no chance to kill a main witness or buy people to 'forget' some vital details!"

"Don't tell me this is a freaking time machine!" a gray haired woman told him.

"In a kind of way? Yes it is! But we are not able to really go back to a specific moment and then we are interacting there and change something. As I said, we can watch. The observer sits in this chair, his mind is send back and he watches, all he 'sees' and 'hears' is monitored by the system. We need a human brain to steer around there and to transfer because the human mind is all we can send back AND we are only able to do this for about three years max. More overloads the brain of the observer. But luckily most of the crimes are not that old."

Jane looked at the machine with horror but she was the only one.

"The results are better the more trained an observer is. For our demonstration we got a case from this night, a homicide. We can go back to the moment as often as we like, this way we can get a three sixty degree view. We got Detective Angus Beckett for this demonstration. He is a homicide detective from the LAPD. We found it most helpful to have someone there who is trained in solving cases like the one that is monitored. With the expertise the observer got, he highlightens more important details. While the detective is there, we all can see what he sees; all is recorded for further analysis. Everyone ready?" The chipper mood of the doctor who made the technical introductions was scraping on Jane's nerves and the babble of the other people – salesmen as Jane was sure – didn't help either. Her gut told Jane that there was something going wrong and she planned to find a place where she could leave as fast as possible. Bad luck had it that she was picked as the one who had the honor to send the detective on his way.

"Are you ready Detective?" She asked the man who as she was told did it at least ten times before.

"I was born ready Commissioner!" He told her in a cocky voice.

"Okay, let's do it!" Jane said and leant over to press the button. Nobody had registered that a thunder storm had reached the city and why should someone bother? They were five stories underground. About two heartbeats before Jane pressed the nice and glowing red button, a lightning bolt hit the building, the hit was in exact the millisecond that was the door to destruction. A millisecond earlier and the system had locked itself with no chance of harm, a millisecond later and the buffers would have been ready and simply filled faster. Jane's index finger contacted the button, an electric circuit closed and a bolt of energy raged through the room, hitting Jane and the detective, threw Jane into the glowing and humming machine and fried the unlucky man. For a short time on the monitors was the picture of a young blond woman which was in motion toward the viewer, frozen in her movement, then all fell dark.

A beeping sound was the first Jane registered when her consciousness returned. 'Shit I'm at the hospital – again' she thought and a great disappointment made its way to her heart.

"She's awake!" Jane heard someone say but was sure that it was only her imagination that made her hear that specific voice. Frantically she opened her eyes and she saw something she couldn't believe.

"I must have gone either to heaven or to hell!" She murmured.

"Neither Jane, you are at Mass Gen, more exact the ICU there!" The same voice told her.

"Then why are you here? Why this punishment?" Jane started crying. "I hold you in my arms when you died." The tears streamed down her face.

There was a strange silence in the room but then the honey blond woman sat down beside Jane. "It was a dream Jane, nothing else as a bad dream. I can assure you that I am alive and well." She took Jane's hand and pressed it, placed it at her heart. Jane felt dizzy but unwilling to close her eyes. Fear run through her body as it was part of an electric wire. Trying again and again her hand finally moves as told and Jane pressed the hand of Maura as hard as she could. No more than a light touch but so much needed.

"I love you Maur." She murmured getting drowned by the meds again.

"I love you too Jane." The blond woman whispered before she placed Jane's hand carefully back on the bed.

Next time Jane woke up it was another shocking moment. This time it was an older woman which Jane hadn't seen for years, eleven years to be more precise.

"Ma?" Her voice trembled. "How, what, but you…" Eyes as big as plates stared at a worried looking Angela Rizzoli.

"Janie, all is fine! The doctors told us that there will be some need for physical therapy but that you will be okay again. No need to stress out!" Angela rambled. After Maura had told her what Jane's reaction was when she woke up and saw her, she had warned all of them that Jane maybe had strange reactions when seeing them. As soon as Jane had been away again Maura had been rushing to talk to the doctor who was in charge of Jane's case.

"Don't worry Doctor Isles; it isn't that uncommon that the memory of someone with such a psychological shock is a little bit fuzzy. You are aware that we have to do a psych analysis as soon as possible? An action as Ms. Rizzoli did could be a very strong sign for suicidal tendencies. I mean – shooting her to get to someone else? Which sane person would do something like that?"

The way he spoke made Maura a little bit angry – no, to be more correct, it pissed her off.

"I would say a person who knows her stuff on police procedures and that her brother was dying on an autopsy table. I would see it as a very rational decision. A wound could be treated but reanimating a person dead for too much time? I don't think I have to give you the statistics about brain damage – do I?" The woman in front of him was more than a head shorter than him but the way she holds her, she was a towering presence. And not to forget she was the Chief Medical Examiner – not really someone to piss off.

Mumbling something that could be interpreted as approval he excused himself rather quick, letting a worried Maura behind.

"We are really sorry Doctor Isles but there is no brain activity we can register." The medical doctor who accompanied them said, looking at Timothy as the mediical expert of the three. "Based on the data we got, it was a nearly impossible combination of events; the computers analyzed it and gave a chance for something like that to happen with one to one hundred forty nine billion."

The silence was awkward, whenever Aunt Jane had been with them in a hospital there were sarcastic remarks, rude comments and a lot of laughter. After a short moment, the doctor called a picture on the display.

"Does anyone of you know who this is? It was for about a second on the screens and luckily the system saved it but we were not able to place her. We know for sure it was no one connected to Detective Beckett."

More for being polite as for real interest, all three turned to the screen and as one, they drew a breath. THAT person all of them knew, Aunt Jane had shown them many pictures of her. They couldn't place the moment they saw but the person was no question. "Mom!" Timothy whispered. His sisters only could stare at her. Her face filled with shock and fear, running towards the point of view where the picture originates.

After talking about the options that were there for Jane ever to recover, the three made the decision to shut down the machines that made Jane's body function. All three were sure that she would never be with them again as well as they were sure that only being functioning because a machine worked on her would be disgusting for their mother. Now that Jane was in no condition to counter it, they spoke about her as their mother because for them she was. Again and again when one of them used to call her mother, mom, ma or mommy, Jane had been shaken her head, told them with love and determination that they can call her whatever they like, but not mom, because their mom was someone else and as sure as day follows night and night follows day, she would draw a picture out of her pocket from a certain beautiful blond woman and with a single tear in her eye she would tell them that this was their mother. She was only a bad excuse…

When taking their farewell, Charlotte kissed her forehead and murmured in her ear "Good luck mommy!"


	4. New memories and surprises

After doing all the necessary tasks for the funeral, they drove in the city to visit a bar, a bar that even after the precinct moved away far further was still a cop bar. Behind the bar on a special place stood a framed picture of Jane with a black ribbon around it.

The barkeeper gave them a nod and placed two glasses of red wine and one beer in front of them. All three gave him a look.

"Jane once told me that if you three ever approach here together I shall give this to you. Don't ask me why but she said you would know." Shrugging his shoulder he walked to talk to another customer.

"She knew us better than anyone else." Timothy said and picked up one of the wine glasses. Sophie took the beer and Charlotte the third glass.

"To Jane, the best 'not-mother' a bunch of kids could ask for!" Timothy gave them the toast.

"To Jane!" His sisters answered, and then suddenly a smile broke out on Charlottes face.

"Reminds me when Janice threw a fit the time Sof and I were about ten. She knew that Jane would come to pick us up but tried to ignore it. She thought it was HER job to mother us. Jane had told us that we would go to a Red Sox game that afternoon and we were already wearing our jerseys and caps. Janice scuffed and told us to 'dress properly'; such filthy rags were something to be worn by the trash in South Boston." The other two started to giggle. "Yeah," Sophie continued, "that was about five minutes before Jane came to the door. Wearing the exact same outfit!" All three of them started to laugh, more so when Charlotte tried to imitate the raspy voice "Hey, kiddos, where are your caps and jerseys? Don't tell me you chickened out!"

"The face Janice made was sooooo priceless! Not to forget that Jane came running from a case and was still wearing her badge and her gun. Shocked the guards at Fenway to no end!"

While trading their stories about Aunt Jane, a couple of people had silently gathered around them. All of them were officers or detectives who had worked with Jane over the years. Telling stories about her none of the three Isles ever had heard and at the end of the eve, everyone was sure that Jane would have loved the way they celebrated her live!

The funeral of Commissioner Rizzoli was no small event. After church, where a lot people held official speeches, praising her values as a police officer, the casket with her body was transferred to the cemetery. At the entry, the casket was loaded on a gun-carriage. Four black horses draw it; four mounted police officers rode in front, four officers followed on motorbikes. Six choppers flew above their heads, when they returned, one broke away, the rest continued in the missing man formation. Finally her casket was lowered down into earth and Sophie held the last speech. After that, the crowd unraveled and Timothy took a view at the sky.

"Has anyone of you registered what a beautiful day this is? I mean, the sun is shining as if she gets paid for it, the birds are singing their hearts out, and a very light breeze is going through the leaves. This is more a day for a wedding, not one for a funeral – at least not when you ask Aunt Jane." The girls took a look around them and nodded their approval.

"Do you remember what Jane told us about the day they buried mom?" Charlotte asked. "She told us that it rained cats and dogs, as it should be when someone as important as mom was placed in the earth." Though why is it so beautiful today?"

Sophie looked around and after thinking about their surroundings she asked "Does anyone of you else find it a little bit strange that this is the only fresher grave in this section? All other graves I can see are at least fifteen years old!" Curious the siblings started to look around but it was Sophie who looked at the grave next to Jane's.

"Come over here, I found something very interesting." She called her siblings.

"What have you got Sis?" Timothy asked her before her recognized the other grave.

"Stupid!" He cursed, "Stupid, stupid, stupid. I should have recognized it on the spot. Wasn't here for years but I should have." Regret laced his voice while tears flowed down his cheeks. His sisters looked at him.

"You were too young, dad always refused to talk about it or come here with us and Aunt Jane always wanted us to think for us about the living person." He shook his head again. "When reading this, I wonder if dad knew about the engraving." Taking a deep breath, he started to read out lout.

"Here sleeps Doctor Maura Dorthea Isles. Beloved mother, friend and wife." He looked again and then he wondered "Is it only me or the moment or finds anyone else the way odd it is written?"

His sisters watched him pointing the lines out as he repeated them.

Here sleeps

Doctor Maura Dorthea Isles

Beloved mother, friend

And wife

"Seems appropriate!" Charlotte told him and took a closer look over the angel that leant on the stone, his wings broken and weeping. "Holy shit!"

"Language Charly!" She was told unison from her sister and her brother in the same way they were told by their aunt so many times.

"Guys, take a look at the face of this angel and then please tell me who the one is that is crying its eyes out."

Stepping back, both of the others inspected the angel and in the end fresh tears rolled down their faces. Taking some time to rebuild them, Timothy told his sisters. Why don't we copy the stone, only mirrored? The angel on mothers grave looks from the side that lies opposite to Jane. This way, they would frame the two. I'm sure that who lends the face of the new angel is nothing we have to discuss."

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AN: No, they still don't belong to me, all that is mine are the plot idea, Timothy, Charlotte and Sophie. Oh yes, there is something else that is mine! All the mistakes you find, they are mine too!


	5. A hold to a promise

Waking up wasn't as painful this time as it was the last three times. Opening up her eyes Jane registered that it was night time and she was alone in the room. Her brain still tried to work out if all the times she saw Maura or her mother were from the drugs the doctors and nurses at the hospital gave her and that it was only because she wished to see them. Being honest to her, Jane was tired und frightened. Finally she decided to try something out. With a lot of will she finally was able to sit up, wondering why her side hurt so much. More why for the sake of god she had to wound the same area again that was wounded when she shot herself.

"Finally!" She thought when she was sitting up despite all the cables and tubes running in and out and over her body. Barely able to touch the switch to turn on the light, she took a look at the things around her trying to figure out what best to use. Still thinking she was surprised when the door to her room opened and a nurse stood in the frame. "Ms. Rizzoli! You should still lie down. Sitting isn't still an option to you. Wait, I will help you to get down!" Finishing her sentence and walking over to move Jane was one action but Jane stopped her by grabbing her hands.

"Sitting up or not is my decision. If you really want to do something good to me? You hand me a mirror and a phone! Preferred is the phone first, the mirror can wait! You got me?" The authority in her voice was one the nurse was trained to obey and before she was aware of it, she was on her way out. Outside she registered what she was doing. With a shrug of her shoulders, the nurse walked over to where the head nurse sat with a cup of coffee. Hearing her nurse out, the older one closed her eyes for a moment and shook her head then she told the other woman to get a phone for the detective, telling her that these cops are all weird. "They believe that the town goes down in chaos the moment they are out of duty. The best is to humor them in minor things, they are better to handle then."

As soon as Jane had the phone, she tried three numbers she knew by heart but none of it worked, two times she got a 'no such area code' and one time an unknown man told her he still holds this number for ten years and yes he is sure and she should go to hell for disturbing his sleep! After contemplating and trying to remember she called a number she still knew but hadn't called for years, even knowing that the phone that belongs to that number resides in her bedside table. The phone sounded about five or six times, then someone picked it up.

"This is Doctor Isles!" Jane wasn't able to hold the phone any longer and it dropped to the bed in front of her, tears streaming down her face she barely registered the "Hello? Hello?"

Crying for nearly half an hour, Jane barely registered that someone entered her room. The first moment it hit her was when two arms moved carefully around her, draw her into the side of a beautiful blond woman and the smell of Maura's preferred perfume calmed her mind down.

"Hey sweetie, everything is fine!" Maura told her. All Jane could do was shaking her head.

"No Maura, I think I lost it, I went crazy and now all I do is living in a world where I see what I want to see. Meet the people I crave to see, to touch and smell and hear. I can't reach the kids but I could reach you – but your phone is dead in my house since twenty years! I knew this damned machine was nothing than crap!" She draws a deep breath. "I can't tell you how much I missed you, missed the stream of facts you poured over my head, how much..." The tears were choking her, but what the hell, she couldn't tell Maura when she was still alive how much she loved her, at least she could tell it to her ghost. If going nuts means that you can tell the most important person of your live that you love her, there should be no reason to stop.

"I never was able to tell you – how much I loved you. And no, I don't mean as a friend, Maur, I love you as in being in love with you. All the time I hated myself for being such a coward but what the hell, going all mental should at least has to have one advantage, I see you in front of me, alive and beautiful as I remember you. So yes, Maura, I love you, I love since the first day we met, I remember still the dress you wore, I remember still the way you held the bill in your gloved hand. I love you Maura and if I made one mistake I regret for the rest of my live it is that I didn't told you while you were alive." A short moment of silence until Jane continued. "I promised Charlotte I would tell you if I ever see you again. Even if all and everyone tells you that changing the past isn't possible or you should never change anything but I promised her. I kept all my promises to your children Maur, as well as I kept them with me, who or whatever tried to force us apart!"

The exhaustion finally got to her and she lost consciousness. Very carefully Maura placed her down on the bed. Wondering if all the things Jane had told her were only imaginations or if she really meant anything of the things she said. Wondering who the father of those kids would be Jane mentioned and really hard she thought about the fact that Jane told her that she loved her. Jane was very emotional which wasn't really her and so Maura wasn't sure about it but on the other side, Jane seemed extremely agitated that she never told her before. Nothing of the things Jane had told her made sense and the thought of Jane been in love with her was a little bit frightening to Maura. That someone told her that he loved her wasn't something new to her, Garrett had done so as well as Ian and a couple of other man who hadn't left imprint on her memory to think about them any longer. But Jane was her best friend, her only friend who was there for her every time, whatever it was Maura had as a problem, Jane came riding in like the white knight to help her. From moving her couch to more threatening things. The thought of someone as caring as Jane being in love with her was comforting and frightening as hell. At the same time Maura remembered their undercover action at the Merch. The way Jane was smitten by her cleavage in the dress of the serving girl. The way it feels so good to have the brunette at her side when they were doing a sleep over at Jane's place where there wasn't a guest room and they shared Jane's bed. Knowing that she would not be able to sleep again with all the things going through her head, Maura took her car to her office, hopefully a nice autopsy would calm her down – and a little bit off online shoe shopping would be helpful too!

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AN: I learned that there really are two films already existing with the title 'Tears in the rain'. No, they have no connection with my story, no hint to the further development.

By the way - reviews are still possible! ;-))


	6. Coming home?

Being pampered by the nurses and her mother drove Jane crazy. Maura was there only once more, telling her that there was a lot of work at the moment because one of her MEs had quit after the events at the Division 1 HQ and two were ill – probably thinking about to change their employer. With the workload of them and the search of a new member of her staff, Maura wasn't able to come over that often. Jane wasn't sure if this was the main reason but after she saw her face the first time she got a mirror in her hands, she had a bad feeling of déjà vu.

Her time at the hospital took her weeks but she did something the first time she was there after she shot herself she didn't. This time she didn't dick around and tried to annoy her PT, this time she took the hours with the shrink – not that she opened up on most of the parts but she made sure to be the picture of professionalism as if she really cared about the thoughts he had about her. Missing her best friend was the worst part and after a couple of weeks she was sure that telling Maura was the worst idea she ever had. Her insecurities nagged at her nerves, and even the visits of Frost, Korsak or her brother were in no way the help those three hoped it to be. Letting her tears flow was something that she only dared deep in the night.

"Come on Doctor, where is the problem to walk the few steps from the door to a cab and from a cab to the next door? Maybe something slipped my attention but as far as I see it, I have to do it either way. The moment I am home, my ma is going to look after me and my best friend is a doctor, again where is the problem?"

"The problem Detective is, that you are without any help while you are walking to the cab, while you are sitting in the cab and while you are walking from the cab. Why are you working so hard to ignore it?" The doctor in front of her was fuming.

"Doctor, give those damned papers to me and call me a cab. I'm not six years old and I want to go home. Maybe it slipped your attention but some people have to work and not the time to drive someone around the city who is capable to do it himself." Grumbling he handed her papers over together with the bag of meds she had to take. With a polite smile Jane thanked him and left. As soon as she was outside she sighted, she knew exactly that no one was there when she entered her apartment, how should they, Jane hadn't told anyone.

Entering her home was sad, she hadn't missed this apartment very much when she had moved in the Beacon Hill home to take care of the kids; it was a place which was more of a home to her than this long before because it was the place her best friend lived. But was it still true, were they still best friends or had she finally driven Maura away with her confession? She didn't know and the sadness that sat in her soul didn't help either. Throwing her bag in her bedroom she took an inventory of her fridge.

"Hm, seems I am back to the mustard and beer diet." She thought picking up a bottle and the landline, ordering in from her favorite pizza delivery.

"Excuse me?" The elegant dressed woman asked at the nurse station, seeking the attention of the woman behind the counter. By her side was a mildly annoyed Angela Rizzoli, both wondering why they found the room in which Jane was staying empty. The nurse turned towards them, hoping they wouldn't take too much of her time. She wanted to finish these reports and finally get her break.

"Yes, how may I assist you?" She asked politely. Someone dressed in something that was designer clothes (she knew everything about that, been a total fashion geek) wasn't someone you should annoy as a simple nurse.

"We are looking for Detective Rizzoli. Her room is empty and we would like to know why she is switched and what the number of her new room is." The blond woman was asking soft and polite.

"Just a moment please!" The nurse told them. "Is it a Jane Clementine Rizzoli?" She finally asked.

"Yes, that is correct. She was delivered here for a GSW." Something told Maura that there was something coming she wouldn't like. A short peek at Angela told her that she wasn't alone with this feeling.

"Sorry ma'am but Detective Rizzoli isn't a patient here any longer. She left this morning about half past ten." The nurse turned toward the two women and regretted it the same moment.

"Could you please repeat this?" The blond asked with a shocked voice.

"Detective Rizzoli left this morning, she told us that her mother would be waiting for her at home and that her friend is a doctor who would take care of her at lunch time. Probably you should contact them and ask them about her. Sorry but there is no more I can tell you!" The nurse got nervous by the minute. Something was really odd here and she wasn't interested to be caught in the middle.

Together the two women left the hospital, too shocked to argue with anyone.

"Why didn't she tell us?" Angela asked with a stricken voice. "I would have driven her; she has nothing in her fridge beside a couple of beer bottles."

The next moment Maura rushed her towards her car, without any further word they drove to Jane's apartment. Using the key she got for emergencies, Angela opened the door. The smell of cold pizza and stale beer greeted them when they entered. The TV was on, switched to one of Jane's favorite sports channels and a soft snoring wasn't to ignore. On her couch was a Jane Rizzoli, three beer bottles on the table beside her and a box with a half-eaten pepperoni pizza. When they saw her face it was all sweaty and with tear streaks, she laid on her side in a fetal position, on the floor in front of her were two more bottles. The package of her pain meds was on her kitchen island and as much as Maura was able to tell, there were none missing, even when Jane clearly had thought about taking some of them. Watching her friend on the couch sleeping less in physical more in emotional pain, Maura wasn't sure what to do. Yes she liked Jane but did she love her the way her friend wanted to be loved? Same time she was very angry at the tall brunette, the way she left the hospital without any support was careless to be said best. In the end, Maura left after helping Angela to buy some groceries.

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AN: A shorter chapter this time and the second last. One more chapter to come.


	7. Finally the end

Waking up with the pain in her side, a huge hangover and a soul that was placed on a hot hook wasn't something nice. Hearing her mother humming was no help. Jane was aware that her mother would scold her for leaving the hospital alone. But the only person she longed for wasn't here, the person who she craved for, the only one who could stop her soul from bleeding out. New tears streamed down her cheeks, wetting the fabric of her couch. Avoiding giving away that she was awake wasn't easy but Jane wasn't willing to talk to anybody, less of all her mother. Her bladder was the one who made the decision that she had to stand up and go to the bathroom. Rising up she caught the attention of an Angela Rizzoli in helicopter mode.

"Janie!" She started but Jane interrupted her. "No now ma, I have to pee and after that all I want is more beer and hopefully been out again." Angela never before saw her daughter so determined and wounded.

Coming back from the bathroom, there was a nice meal served and Jane's stomach started to grumble.

"Sit down and eat!" Her mother told her. "Then we talk."

"I'm not in the mood to talk, ma. Momentary I'm sorrier that the damned bullet didn't kill me. Would have solved a lot of problems."

"Don't say anything like this, Janie, a depression like the one you're having now isn't uncommon after such an experience."

"That's something Maura told you." Jane spoke in a flat unattached voice.

"What happened between you girls?" Angela asked, worried about those two women.

A sudden anger raged through her veins and Jane couldn't hold it back any longer.

"Your daughter told her that she is in love with her, that's all. Because she can't take it, the good doctor took her space. Anything else?" The aggressive sound wasn't missed by Angela but the confession was a lot to stomach. "Don't BS me ma, yes Maura is polite but that is something she is always but she isn't any longer interested in a closer relationship of any kind. Proof? She's not here, isn't she?"

The hurt she heard while Jane spoke cut deep into Angela's heart. Knowing that her daughter was like an iceberg when it came to her feelings, she knew that what she saw was only the tip.

"Janie..."

"Don't ma; I don't want to talk about it, not now, not ever." Jane left the table and the half eaten meal, walked over to her bedroom and closed the door behind her. Cleaning up and putting the food into the fridge, Angela placed a note on the kitchen island, all it said was: 'I love you Janie'

In a certain house in Beacon Hill, a blond woman sat on her couch, a glass of wine in her hand but unable to drink of it or do anything else. Unsecure what to do; she saw that she was alone with a problem, alone the first time for years. Normally she would have gone to Jane, she would have told all to her best friend, making up a good part of her decisions while talking to her. Taking in the answers she would be provided with and then in the end she would go with the idea or politely decline. But this time? This time it was different. This time it was Jane who was the one to talk about. What if they tried it and it didn't work out? How would they go back? She was going to lose her best, her only real friend. This time it was at her to cry. Out of a sudden the bell of her door chimed and someone knocked. Carefully Maura took a look out of the window by the door, surprised she opened the door.

"Hello Angela! Come in." She stepped aside, to polite to tell the mother of her best friend to go home and let her feel miserable as she did.

"I see that Jane isn't the only one working on her feelings." Angela declared. "Jane is stubborn as ever but eventually I can help you!" Maura shook her head. "I am not sure how that should be." She said.

Angela sat down beside Maura and took her hand. "Okay Sweetie, let me ask you something and you don't have to tell me but you have to tell yourself honestly the answer. Okay?" After a long moment Maura nodded "Yes, I think I can do it."

"When you are alone, do you think about Jane? Do you want her around you, want her to annoy you? Do you miss her sarcastic remarks? Do you miss her hand at you lower back when she guides you through a door? Miss her stepping in for you when someone tries to make you feel small? Miss the way she calms you down with a touch or a smile? How do you feel sitting alone in front of your TV without her muttered remarks while a cheesy scene is on the screen or you watching some documentary. Did you ever imagine how it feels when she kisses you? How it feels to lie in her arms?" Angela rose and stepped to the kitchen island, placing a key on it.

"I don't know if you got a key from Jane but this one is for her door. Think about the things I asked you and then, when you think it is the thing you want to do, I don't talk about you feel it the right thing to do, only that you think that you want to do it – then do it!" While Maura was still sorting out what Angela said to her, the older woman started to walk out of the door.

"Would it be okay for you that your daughter is in a same sex relationship?" Maura asked in a low voice.

"Maura, I am old but I learned something in my time. You can't force someone to love or to not love another person. Oh come on; my Janie could get someone far worse. I mean, you are a doctor, that's something I always dreamed of. And I think that with you I still have a chance for grandchildren – and don't get me wrong! I want some, the more the merry! That's something you should think about too. Can you imagine yourself to wake up to her every morning and to raise some children with her? Messy that she is?" Angela kissed her head. "Good night Sweetie!" With that she was gone. Standing at the door of her car, Angela looked up to the sky and send a silent prayer that her two favorite girls will find their way to happiness, which ever it will be.

Maura sat back on her couch for about two more hours, than she started pacing through her living room. Her thoughts running with the speed of light. While she fought with her feelings, her subconscious made the decision. Next moment she found herself in her car, the key to Jane's apartment in her hand. This time in the night, the drive took her only twenty minutes until she stood in front of the building Jane's apartment was in. Using the key, Maura stepped inside. In front of the door to Jane she stopped for a short moment but before she could turn around she found her hand inserting the key into the lock. Opening the door as silent as possible, Maura entered the apartment, straining her hearing to find her friend. The room was dark except the TV which was turned on but only entertaining an empty room. Putting her shoes beside the door, Maura walked through the room towards the bedroom door, hesitating a last time. Stepping inside she saw in the light that came inside from the lamps on the street Jane on her back, only wearing a tank top and some panties. Carefully to not to wake up the other woman, Maura walked to the bed, taking of her dress and her bra, she slipped onto the bed and under the arm of Jane. Feeling the skin of the taller woman on hers she felt complete for the first time in her life. Sure that it was the place she wanted to be, she moved her hand on the stomach of the other, placed her leg on the ones of Jane and was asleep the next second.

Waking up the next morning was a little bit strange for Jane, first thing she registered was something across her chest, a hand under her top on her breast and a leg intertwined with hers. Second thing her brain sorted out was the smell she connected with Maura, the way her shampoo smelled, her body wash and simple the personal smell that was all Maura, third was a mess of honey blond hair. Then she recognized that her tank top was off and she was skin to skin, breast to breast with the other woman, made her all of a sudden going up.

"Hnngh!" Was a not so expected reaction for Jane, "Go back to sleep!" A very sleepy Maura told her. Very confused, Jane fell back. As soon as Jane was lying again, Maura cuddled deeper in Jane's form. Carefully, Jane placed a hand on Maura's back, ready to take it back in a heartbeat.

"You can place it where ever you like." Maura told her. Taking her head up she gave the very perplexed woman under her a grin and with a wink "Even on my butt, honestly – I like the idea of that!" With that she place her head back on Jane's chest, gripping her stronger while her lips blew little raspberries on her skin.

"How comes?" Jane asked cautiously.

"Your mother asked my a few questions and when I figured out the answers, I knew that this is what I want. Simple as that."

"You're sure? I mean…"

"Yes Jane, I am sure. Though why don't you kiss your girlfriend and let her feel how much you like it to have her nearly naked in your arms?" Maura shot her a wicked grin and the first for a long time, Jane laughed without any sorrows.

"Do any off you have an idea if we will ever know what really happened to Jane?" Timothy sat on a bench in the Boston Commons. His sisters shook their heads. It was now three years that their Aunt was gone and they included her still this way or another in their conversations.

"She could simply be dead, nothing for us to recognize. Her going back builds an alternate universe, although nothing we would know. From here, there are an infinite number of possibilities. All we can do is hope that she found peace and happiness."

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I hope you liked the story but as sorry as I am, this one is done. But there is still the Guardian Angel in the woods who fights me nail and toes to come out and there is another story working on my mind.

Thanks again to all that send a pm or gave a review!

For the last time in this story I like to borrow some lines and adapt them freely:

If you liked what I told you – tell it to others by review! If you didn't like what you got – tell it to me by pm!

(Or as it was said in the original german version: Wenn es Ihnen gefallen hat, dann erzählen Sie es weiter. Wenn es Ihnen nicht gefallen hat, dann behalten Sie es für sich! Nur so können wir jeden Abend ausverkauft sein! :D )


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